Wow, it’s 5:32am as I type this.  I spent tonight working on the Facebook fan page for this blog, so that I can break the internet by having my blog update my facebook, my facebook update my twitter, my twitter update my facebook, on and on until something goes crazy and breaks and the universe goes kablooey (like Schrödinger’s Cat and a Möbius Strip playing chicken on a binary highway – or something)!!!

That’s not the whiskey talking, either (I’m being healthy and alternating green tea with green label Jack Daniel’s), though I have had probably half the bottle tonight.  I’m going to be taking my time with these posts now, since I’m running low on remaining unanswered letters, and I’d like to keep this going for a little while before I have to switch to “Girls On OkCupid Who Wrote Me Back But For Some Reason We All Got Bored Of The Exchange And Never Even Went On A Date” or “Girls I Met On OkCupid, Had One Date With And Then Aliens Abducted Them Or Something, Because They Never Called Me Back” since they don’t quite have the same ring to it.

Or maybe I should write to more women on OKCupid that I don’t really want to date to see what they say?  I don’t really want to be trapped in my success, as I heard that the “Shit My Dad Says” guy has lost quality lately since he got his TV deal.  Also, I don’t want to be disingenuous to anyone.  Besides, this is what I’ve decided to spend my time doing as a means to procrastinate writing my novel.  At least I’m writing something, right?

I also like the way that I seem to suggest that listening to Jules Shear is akin to delving into a secret society (although some may argue that being into his music is like being in a secret society and delving into the unknown)…like the man behind songs you know, but have never heard him sing them, but you totally should.

Until next installment, if you haven’t replied to a message, it’s because you probably get inundated with crap from guys like this.  Not all of us are that bad, or merely want to “sex you up, shorty.  yo yo yo!” (Actually, we do all want to sex you up, but we don’t have the balls to be that bold.  Or do we?)

Meanwhile, I have to reply to a bunch of messages myself, because I am many things, but I refuse to be a hypocrite. [Sometimes, Jake is a hypocrite.  He hasn’t messaged all those girls back. – Ed.]

had to say hi
Sent to saddarkmatter
12% Enemy 83% Friend 85% Match
Nov. 23, 2008 – 7:16pm

Hey there!

You seem to be into a lot of deep and kooky things (religions and superstitions and whatnot are intriguing, especialy when you delve into secret societies and such), not to mention Jules Shear. I don’t know anyone into Jules Shear (I have an acoustic version of “If We Never Meet Again” that totally kills it).

Something that falls into comparative religion and absurdity of life is that Fuse is currently showing “Orgazmo” and the word “Jiz” in “Jizmaster Zero” is dropped out. So Ron Jeremy is “Master Zero.”

Well, I’m off to smuggle a beer from home into a comedy show because I am cheap.

cheerio!