from one neurotic jew to another…

And we’re back!  Sorry I missed you dear readers for a couple of weeks (going on more than a month now, yikes), but I was a little thrown off my game by waking up to work at 6am on a Sunday morning.  I don’t think I’m going to do that again.  This whole flexible hours job thing is probably not going to work for me.  Mostly because they keep scheduling me within my availability as they see it, but not the way i see it.  So much for that plan.  Going to try again to just keep my head down, get through the work week at the shitty place and make money while I try to find a better job instead of a job that pays less and has less hours.  Having to move all my stuff out of the house that I just moved into less than 4 months ago may have also slowed my writing down a bit.  And so it goes…

I’m in a mostly good mood right now after having a Memorial Day weekend jam-packed with food, friends and fun.  Of course, moving on a paid day off seems productive, but really cuts down on day drinking on a day when you are expected to do so.  It’s now Friday and I just took two nights off from moving shit, after running up and down stairs with a ridiculous number of boxes of LP records for like 5 days straight.  My first night off from heavy lifting found me at karaoke night at the Sage Cafe in Blue Point with my friend Meg, who is too tall, too blonde, and way too pretty to even be seen in a room with me.  I think she may have been an entire drinking age younger than the youngest woman in the bar before we got there.  Partly because I wanted to do something different and partly because selection was limited, I ended up doing three songs I’ve never sung before:  “Cry Like A Baby” by the Box Tops (I usually do “The Letter” but decided to give it a break because I do it all the time); “Under the Milky Way” by The Church (I was way too pitchy on that one, and will not attempt it again until my voice fully recovers from my recent awful cold); and “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” by The Smiths (wasn’t too bad.  I normally do “Suedehead” by Morrissey, but that wasn’t an option).

So yeah, I’ve been trying to write this post on my coffee breaks at work (I get two 30 minute breaks a day, during which I try to cram in writing and editing my book, napping, eating and internet stuff, and driving to a nearby park and back – I don’t currently work at a desk with a computer like I used to.  I miss those days), but lately I’m just napping.  Perhaps one day I’ll learn how to fall asleep in a timely fashion, but I have to say that 38 years into this life, I don’t see this happening anytime soon.  I feel like the best course of action is to just sit in my car in the parking lot at work so that I can’t access the internet and waste 25 minutes of my break on Facebook.  But none of this has anything to do with the letter below.  So let’s just go to the next paragraph where I will briefly summate (I have never used that word before – how cool is that?) my feelings on it.

So, this lady had a crazy photo (just one) posted that I wish I could show you now, but since she no longer has an account (and hasn’t for some time), that is not possible at this time.  If I recall correctly, it presented her in a baby bonnet, holding a milk bottle (presumably filled with alcohol), with a kind of sneer on her face, looking sort of like Courtney Love playing Little Miss Muffet.  Needless to say, I was intrigued.  I was really bummed that she never wrote back after my reply.  I’ve always been on the lookout for a crazy woman to do weird things with in public, like stage a couple-fight or a public pregnancy scare… kind of like Improv Everywhere, but more like Improv Inappropriate.  If you are a female and think this is a good idea, don’t hesitate to write.  We could have fun at the expense of nosey people with no lives of their own…  Also, if this was you, holla back, 2008 girl.

from one neurotic jew to another…
Nov 4, 2008 – 12:20am
Message from JustJewIt
Sorry, JustJewIt no longer has an account.

 i think we should be friends. wanna hang out?

for the record – i’m not looking for a relationship/dating/whatever. or “casual encounters” (which seem kinda creepy, anyway). just new friends.

hit me up, homeslice.


Sent to JustJewIt
Nov 6, 2008 – 12:24am

hanging out is cool.

i try to think of “casual encounters” as more of a Jeff Spicoli-ripoff character from a movie I never saw called the Wild Life stoner kid going “it’s casual” anyway, I think I’ve said too much.

ha ha.



Hi (a letter from a woman on OK Cupid that I never responded to)

Dear readers, I hope you are doing well this night.  I’m in the middle of another big shakeup in my life, but not one of my own choosing (for the most part).  The good news about all of this forced upheaval, is that I will be able to quit my awful job that has been killing me physically and crushing my soul, and transition into a new job with more flexible hours and a corporate structure to ensure that I don’t get treated like a piece of charnel by a lunatic without any sense.  Hopefully, I can manage to nail the bastard for breach of contract once I leave.  Granted, it means holing up at my parents’ house once more, but this time to save money and be ready for the next big move without teetering on the edge of a broken wallet.

But enough about that malarkey.  The best news about having a more flexible job means that I should have more time to finish my book.  I know I’ve been talking about this book forever (believe me, I feel like I’ve been writing it forever – 9 1/2 years to date), but I’ve finally started editing it for real.  Which means it should only take me another 5 years to complete.  I’m also looking forward to being able to afford to eat sushi again.

This week’s post is yet another twist on the formula.  This time, I’m the asshole.  I didn’t reply to this letter.  I can’t tell you why because this profile no longer exists, but it’s probably because I didn’t find her attractive.  Or didn’t understand why she has “taco” in her screen name, as do about a thousand other women on this site.  I still don’t get it.  Kind of like the mexican place in Austin called Wahoo’s Fish Tacos, since, well, “wahoo” and “fish taco” are synonyms.

I will say that I enjoyed Lisa’s one-liner about my head, which refers to the photo below, which was captioned with something along the lines of “My friend Josh took this photo and the angle makes me resemble one of those giant head Easter Island statues.”

Check out how much my head looks like an Easter Island statue here!


But like I’ve said before, I’m probably just a horrible person, so I didn’t write this girl back because I probably found her unattractive.  Feel free to comment on this post and tell me how I deserve all the horrible things that have happened to me because karma isn’t just the name of your favorite stripper.

Message from Agnusmycat_taco
Apr 25, 2008 – 5:28pm

Don’t worry, your head only vaguely looks like an Eastern Island statue. Lisa

i thought that…

I’ve been having a lot of fun straying from the formula just a little bit lately.  Not only because shaking things up keeps it fresh, but because it also pads out the finite amount of material I’ve accumulated over the last few years (I mean, it’s not like I can honestly write to women solely in the hopes they don’t write me back – that would be disingenuous and deceitful and the antithesis of what this project is all about — these emails are all sincere and sent because I want to hook up or something).  So I’ve decided to go through some old messages that may have gotten one or two volleys before stopping dead and start posting them.  I will probably alternate, but either way, I will be posting more “letters that got perhaps one response.”  Then again, this is my playground, so I make the rules and break the rules.  Nyah nyah nyah.

This week’s post is a one volley correspondence from almost four years ago, so I have no idea what this woman looks like, or what our match percentage was.  Context clues tell me that she may have been on the goth side (I am nothing if not a regular Sherlock Holmes, dear Watson).  I’m just tickled that someone out there knew what “Son of Albert” was.  I am also gathering from this that I was the one who never replied after the first volley.  I don’t know why that is.  And now the world will never know, for she is no longer on OK Cupid.

One last note:  I still have not listened to either the Andrew Ridgely or the Curt Smith records to this date.

i thought that…
Sent to girl__afraid
Jun 12, 2008 – 1:53am

Goths listened EXCLUSIVELY to WHAM! and Barry Manilow.

but seriously, I bought “Son of ALbert” for a dollar once. and I just found an EP by Curt Smith (aka the Other guy from Tears For Fears” in the trash. So I’m working on the “dudes left behind by their more famous partners” series of albums. There’s just too many Paul McCartney albums out there, though. (j/k)

I dunno. I didn’t have anything exciting to say, but I saw the wham thing and couldn’t resist. Gasoline fight!



Sent from girl__afraid
Jun 12, 2008 – 2:00pm

OMG Son of Albert was soooooooo bad I couldn’t take it! I found it at Tower for like .99 or something. ICk. He was always my favorite member of the band too (considering he did nothing).


How was the Curt Smith album? I saw them recently on some radio show on YouTube – they still sounded really good. I love that band.

Glad you’re not afraid to talk about these things – lol.

Sorry, girl__afraid no longer has an account.

don delillo

Good evening, gentle readers (or good afternoon rough readers – whichever is applicable, just make sure it sounds like Alfred Hitchcock saying it).  I will be presenting you with another one of those weird mystery messages that you used to be able to send out to a random person with whom some computer says you have things in common with.  For some reason, it seems like none of the women who messaged me using this feature ever messaged me back.  So basically, this is another installment of “Responses To OK Cupid Letters That Never Got Responses” for your perusal and hopefully, your reading pleasure.

I am going to also take this opportunity to thank someone who isn’t featured anywhere in this blog (but has one of her own) for some constructive criticism.  It was really funny, because she started with “hey…can I talk to you about something? and I thought for sure it was something bad.  I suppose it shows where my head is at that I replied “i guess so. did i do something wrong?”  Once she said “No. Not at all” I said “then talk away.”  Here is what she had to say:

“well…it’s weird to say
but i will
because I give a shit about you.
I’ve been keeping up with your blog
and I enjoy reading it
but I think I may know what you’re doing wrong in your letters
is that weird to talk about? If so, just tell me”

And then I was all “not weird at all.  i was scared for a second.”  She said “Oh shit, sorry.”  And then I told her “my friend Christine says a lot of them aren’t really open-ended.  like she can’t tell if i’m trying to start a conversation or just spouting random nonsense.”

“well…I wouldn’t say it exactly like that.
but yeah…maybe ask the girl something where she can jump in
girls read those letters and they’re like: ‘Okay. What does he want to know about ME? So he’s telling me stuff but what am I supposed to say?'”

And of course, all I could say was “right.  There are several like that.”

“And I know you’re trying to get your stuff out there because you’re a passionate person
but girls like to be…like…fawned over a little
and I know it’s a little lame doling out advice as my longest relationship was 10 months and that was like 10 years ago…you’re not mad at me are you?”

“Why would I be made at you?  you had helpful hints and you shared them.  ;p HOW DARE YOU!?  I thought you were going to tell me that the introductions were a little too personal/too dark lately.”

And then the conversation shifted into other personal things we won’t get into here.  But I think it’s funny whenever someone picks up on that.   On the bright side, most of these letters that don’t really leave an opening for a reply are 2-3 years old.  On the downside, I don’t think my letters have changed all that much since then.  Oh well.  Here is a reply that didn’t get a reply.  I’m trying to learn how to start a conversation.  At my advanced age, it’s hard sometimes to learn new skills.  Oddly enough, the letter this mystery woman sent was direct and to the point.  Something my letters seldom ever are.

don delillo
Apr 17, 2010 – 8:19am
Message from FunnyGirl_BX
Sorry, FunnyGirl_BX no longer has an account.

So an algorithm I don’t understand tells me that we are compatible and both enjoy Don DeLillo. White Noise is my favorite. Yours?


Apr 18, 2010 – 9:00pm

Hi Nicole!

I don’t understand their algorithms either, because it seems that many women who you would think would match me better (especially friends from the real world) don’t, and then people I have seemingly nothing in common with rate highly. I rate especially high with latino and bbw women for some reason (only half-kidding).

My favorite DeLillo is Underworld, which was also the first one I read of his, after picking up the first thing I found after reading an interview with Lee Ranaldo of Sonic Youth that he loved Don DeLillo, and especially White Noise. The only book of his I haven’t gotten through so far is Libra. I want to re-read White Noise to figure out why so many of my friends hate it with such passion.

you also seem to like Trivial Pursuit and cooking. I am definitely on board with that! I wish I got to play TP more. and I don’t get to participate in as many pub quizzes as i would like.

Well, I hope you had a fun weekend!

nice username

Hello loyal readers (what few of you still exist, as I seem to take too long between updates, although the upside to this lackadaisical approach is that I still have material that is two years old, even after doing this blog for over two and a half years)!

I hope you have all been well.  I have had some bouts of self-defeatism, followed up with delusions of adequacy and at times a fleeting feeling of awesome.  At least I’ve gotten some bicycle-riding in there somewhere.  Let me just say that as someone from a very hilly neighborhood where my house was at the bottom of every hill, it is amazing living in a flat area where I can bicycle for seven miles and not really break a sweat.  I’m loving it, and am relieved that we won’t have to move out in July, because we’ve found a friend to move in come July 1st.  Now if I could just find a better (and better-paying) job so that I can afford to live here while also eating and drinking…

None of that has anything to do with this week’s installment, which found me saying NOTHING exciting about one of my favorite bands.  It did, however, show my affinity for bragging about my record collection.  It also kind of makes me want to listen to some Guided By Voices right now (I’m currently listening to a record by The Seldom Scene from 1974 that I bought used on Record Store Day because the used records were within my budget, whereas most of the RSD Exclusive titles were too rich for my lack of money ($9.99 for a 7″ record with 2 songs, one of which isn’t even new is highway robbery and complete bullshit).  I will be writing an essay about the frustrating paradox that is Record Store Day sometime soon and will post a link on here for it).

Anyhow, I really did think her username was cool.  Even if I wasn’t that into her.  I just always assume that when you pick a username like that, you expect to net nerdy guys, so you must like nerdy guys, so when a nerdy guy emails you, maybe you should write him back, because you are total nerd-bait.  If you don’t like nerds, make a username that implies a lack of respect for grammar or originality (ie, Kewpid4U, BabyGirl4Luv, etc.).  Also, it’s come to my attention that I’m not a bad looking guy.  So, whatever.  Please note that this is the second-to-last letter that I previously copied and pasted into my master file.  But don’t worry, I have PLENTY more to go through in the coming weeks.  Rest assured I still have plenty of material (including the longer piece that I keep meaning to post on Valentine’s Day, but have since managed to screw up and let three of them slip by without posting it).

So now I give you this.  Enjoy!

nice username

Sent to smotheredinpugs
Apr 12, 2010 – 9:58pm
5% Enemy 88% Friend 95% Match

Hey there,

Just had to drop a line to say you have one of the better usernames on this thing. I just had Guided By Voices week in my mind last week, where I basically downloaded weird random rarities I didn’t already own, and ripped the rest from the CDs I have. Something like 111 albums/EPs/compilations, etc…

this week I’m on a bit of a Morning Benders kick, though I saw the Wedding Present last night (I hadn’t seen them in maybe 12 years) and will probably listen to them a lot this week.

take care!

I think the 17% enemy is based solely on…

I started writing this entry after the Super Bowl.  It was the cap-off to an otherwise horrendous week that should have, by all accounts, not have been so horrendous.  I was supposed to move out of my parents’ house and celebrate.  Instead, on the day I was supposed to do these things, my bank account was frozen by New York State with ZERO notice (I am still $200 in the hole as a result of this bureaucratic bungle, which they later admitted on the phone that proper procedure was not followed in December- letter-writing campaign forthcoming).  Meanwhile, my mom had been rushed to the hospital on Tuesday.  It really was a banner week in our household.  Since then, I have been on a rollercoaster ride of hating my job and REALLY hating my job, finally moved into the new place (a house with a couple of friends, which I can barely afford, but need for the sake of my sanity, however tenuous that might be), and have tried to make myself as busy as possible while trying to get out of my current shitty job and transition simultaneously into a position where all the things I have done for shits and giggles lo these many years (booking shows, promoting bands, writing dumb shit like this) finally start to yield dividends.  If these things don’t start happening by the time I turn 40, I want one of these women to run me over again and again.  So, I’m going to leave in the original intro, as is.  It follows below, starting…now!

So, here we are again…I hope all of you eyeballs on the other side of this series of tubes are having abetter week than I.  I’m not going to get into the woes and wherefores of my shitty week, but rest assured when your mood is elevated by a sporting event you only marginally care about, it’s been a rough week.  With that, I start writing this post to distract myself (yet, while writing this I got distracted, naturally) and try to make me feel like I have some semblance of control in my currently disheveled life.

Speaking of disheveled, this particular message is a bit of a rambling mess, seemingly never finding its footing.  I do, however, enjoy some of the things I wrote in this message.  I am, if anything, a big fan of my own ridiculousness…and making fun of Burning Man (although I have to admit that one cool thing came out of Burning Man, and that would be the Steampunk Treehouse that now graces the front lawn of the Dogfish Head Brewery in Rehoboth, Delaware).


I think the 17% enemy is based solely on…

Sent to Nik100383
Mar 13, 2010 – 5:16pm
10% Enemy  84% Friend  80% Match

burning man. ha ha.

I think it’s cool you don’t really like the summer. I catch a lot of flack for that. I spent most of last summer sleeping on a couch at my parents’ house in the air conditioning because I couldn’t sleep in the sweaty city (my old apartment had the worst electrical ever, but we couldn’t complain because somehow ConEd never sent us a bill after the last person whose name it was in left, and we could only have one air conditioner on, and we couldn’t turn it on if we needed to microwave something). In fact, I lived across the street from project housing and they all had air conditioners. sometimes there are equalizers in society.

I’m sorry, I have no idea what I’m talking about. Anyhow, I just wanted to drop a line to say that you seem pretty cool and you like a lot of the same stuff as me, and also, your philosophies seem pretty in tune with mine, in terms of planned spontaneity, etc. although maybe you like nature more than I do. But right now, where I’ve retreated to in Long Island, I live across from the woods where there’s a cool hiking trail and I’m across the river from the Long Island Sound. So I don’t not like nature, but I’m not like super outdoorsy. I am gonna go kayaking this summer on the river, though.

take care,

charlatans uk (a slight deviation from format)

Okay folks, so this one is slightly different from my normal post (hence why I put a parenthetical in the title), because it was the result of one of those crazy double-blind random message dealies that used to happen on Ok Cupid but doesn’t anymore.  The idea was, and I believe I may have explained it once upon a time, that if you shared similar interests with someone, Ok Cupid would tell you to message a random stranger just because they liked something you liked as well.  So, in theory, if you liked skull-fucking and necromancing, you could message another skull-fucking necromancer sight unseen, later to be replied to, much to your horror and chagrin, by, say, your creepy uncle or some such relative.  Now, the recommendations I received were along the lines of popular music and movies I liked, but that’s only because I’m not into necromancing and skullfuckery (that I’m aware of, anyway – I mean, how do you really know unless you try it?).  I will refer you to this classic post of mine, in which the “Icebreaker” as they called it, told me that the woman in question and I shared these similar interests:  “I think you both like cooking, jew, spoon, stars, and modest mouse.

So, yeah, this lady actually messaged me first, not knowing the freak that lurked behind a shared interest in the Charlatans UK.  So, because I deemed her appealing (sorry that I can no longer link to her profile, since it no longer exists, so I can’t even remember anything about her), I replied in earnest.  Apparently, she either didn’t like what she saw or what she read (or both?), as a response to my response never arrived.  And now she’s gone from Ok Cupid, probably co-habitating with a skinny bearded Bedford Avenue type.  Maybe even one of the dude from that lame band the Drums (who I will say are decent on record, but the live show I saw was so horrendous I walked out after two songs because I couldn’t handle it at all).  Alas, I was genuinely interested in her multiple experiences seeing Meatloaf perform in concert.

charlatans uk
Message from britpoplvr
Mar 9, 2010 – 6:54pm
Sorry, britpoplvr no longer has an account.

hey there –

I’ve been told you also like the charlatans uk. Not many people here do.


Message to britpoplvr
Mar 13, 2010 – 4:30pm

I have to be honest and say that I really only love the first two albums. “White Shirt” is one of my favorite songs ever. Weirdly, when I was working at the MTV Network Operations Center, I was working with some MTV Brasil content, and “White Shirt” was the background music to a weird promo with some dancing furry creature. I couldn’t believe it. But yeah, when they released “Can’t Get Out of Bed” I thought it sounded too much like “I Missed Again” by Phil Collins. I was a much worse music snob back then.

So you’ve really seen Meatloaf multiple times? What was that like?

I have a joke about a hypothetical tattoo…

This one is actually some solid letter-writing IMHO, but I guess just not enough to interest a lady who seems to be hunting younger men, and guessing from the “ironic” use of duckface, she wants to slum it with some “Jersey Shore” cast member wannabees.  Or maybe, if I were to give her the benefit of the doubt, she just doesn’t want to deal with another hapless writer in her life.  After all, that I can understand.  If I had to deal with people like me all day, the last person I’d want to be involved with would be another one.

And then things get meta!  I may have blown it by revealing that I am actually doing a blog about these inane letters.  Or did I?  Maybe she is trying to ride my coattails by hoping I would link to her profile in my post about the letter I sent to her that she never replied to.  If this is indeed the case, she got her wish.  Damn, I hate when I play right into some scheming conniver’s plans!  Nevertheless, I dare say I gave it the old college try, I even led with a subject line that refers to her answer for “The Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit” and then buried said lead at the end of the message.  Or maybe she’s just not a Bob Newhart fan.  And that would be the real shame here, were it true.  Not that I would know, since I never heard from her.  Of course, I would like to point out that the reason I am probably still single is because I’ve never met a woman who gets the joke.

I have a joke about a hypothetical tattoo…

Sent to queenchoptifa
Feb 26, 2010 – 4:01am
17% Enemy  83% Friend  84% Match


Let me say right off the bat that I felt compelled to write you immediately. Oftentimes, especially at 4am, I will browse and take mental notes that I soon forget, but I rarely write emails after 3am. It starts to get a little dicey, usually. I tend to try and overthink things and be ultra clever or witty. No such luck for you this time, I’m afraid.

Anyhow, from your profile you seem like someone I would click with from the moment you see me and back slowly out of the bar.

I’m curious about your writing, as I’m currently still working on my first novel, which nobody is paying me for yet (I’m trying to have three solid chapters ready before I try to solicit anything – the writing is there, but it’s still not organized). I’m working on a blog while I procrastinate on the novel. A blog about letters I’ve sent to girls on ok cupid that haven’t gotten responses. I figured that if my friend Joe can get a deal to write the “Look At This Fucking Hipster” book, then why not?

But back to the matter at hand, I have been joking for years now that if I were to get a tattoo it would be on my back in giant letters and say “To Be Or Not To Be…That Is The Gazorninplat!” and that the first woman to get the reference would be The One.

I’m funnier than this in person, I assure you.

so, one idea I had was to create a Metrognome

As promised, here is this week’s bonus post (hooray!), to take your mind off of the worst email/letter a woman has gotten from me on what I failed to realize was Valentine’s Day (I seriously just noticed this fact while scrolling through the file of all my entries this very moment)!!  An even better reason for her to have not responded.  I might as well have sent an email saying “Hey there, what has two thumbs and is single on Valentine’s Day and sitting on one of said thumbs because he’s super lonely?  This guy (I can send you a photo of me pointing at myself with my thumbs if you haven’t slit your own throat after reading this if you like)!”  Sometimes I wish I was as good at business stuff or following through on goals and dreams as I am at making fun of myself.  If self-deprecation was an Olympic event, I would probably get disqualified for juicing (on bile).  I should point out, for the record, that I am not self-loathing.  I think I am a spazz and a cartoon character in a human being’s body, but I don’t hate myself.  Most of the time, I think I’m pretty damn awesome.  And judging from the amount of women I have dated who have moved as far away from me as possible, I am way too fucking charming.  I haven’t done a final tally, but I think I have ex-girlfriends in ten states.

This post is a break from routine, as there was a response, albeit brief and never followed up on.  Too bad.  Oh well, c’est la vie… especially my la vie.  Misplaced energy is all I am good at producing.  I mean, I know that I can’t sit around and wait for things to happen, and I have to make my own luck.  So, hey, I’m trying.

And lastly, in the “oh shit, someone already made this” department, my plans to make and sell Metro-gnomes have been thwarted by another!

so, one idea I had was to create a Metrognome
Mar 3, 2010 – 3:56am
Sent to rosebud-tastic
23% Enemy  75% Friend  70% Match


I really didn’t know what to put in the subject line, but thought that this might pique your interest. I’ll let you figure out what a metrognome is (you seem pretty, witty and bright from your profile, so I’m confident you’ll figure me out). Basically, I have been spending a lot of time thinking about words that end in nome so that I can make them end in gnome. Like, if I could draw at all, I would want to make a cartoon called “David the Gastro-Gnome” voiced by Tom Bosley. Basically, David just goes around reviewing restaurants and having adventures.


I don’t want to ramble too much in this missive, but I like the cut of your jib, specifically how you reference “Say Anything” in your profile and that you don’t like Ethan Hawke. And while I don’t drive a bitchin’ camaro, Joe Jack Talcum has slept over my house (we drank Yeungling and talked about Monty Python)…


Well, I guess if any of this interests you, I’d like to hear what kind of whiskeys and steaks you like. Also, a favorite SWC quote. Mine is “All they hear is ‘Who wants cake?’ And let me tell you something. They ALWAYS want cake!” not sure if that’s why I cut back on my cake intake (incake?).


Insomniacally Yours,


Sent from  rosebud-tastic
Mar 3, 2010 – 4:00am

it is very late, and i’m about to go to sleep, but there was actually a column in one of the local weeklies from my hometown called “metrognome”. i never read it, but the title always gave me a little chortle.
good night!


I like your style

I have to say that this is perhaps my least favorite letter thus far that I’ve published on this blog.  It’s so blah-blah-blah, exposition, brag brag brag about shows and Seattle and the Smiths (the very band she name-checks in her screen name).  Gag.  Like I needed to point out who Andy Rourke was.  Condescending much?  I don’t blame her for not responding to the boring asshole who wrote this.  The only bright spots in it are  my trashing of Animal Collective (although, thanks to Mike Longo, I’ve finally heard a recording of theirs that contained an actual song and not just tuneless and rhythmless bleating and banging) and the word tricycle.  Also, I am disappointed that I didn’t include an ellipsis before the words “and your tricycle.”  I will now kick myself in the head.

In fact, because I am so disappointed in myself for having penned this drivel (without a pen, no less), I will give you a bonus entry this week to cleanse your eye-palettes from the bland offerings given here. I suppose that I wouldn’t even post this letter on the blog if it didn’t give me yet another opportunity to knock myself down a couple pegs.  What a smug jerk that me guy is.  This will show him.  “Hey, you suck…me!”  [note – as of this going live, the author has made up with himself — ed.]

I like your style
Feb 14, 2010 – 3:55am
Sent to thischarminggrl
Sorry, thischarminggrl no longer has an account.

and your tricycle.

So, which day do you have Pavement tickets for? I’m going on the Thursday.

You have some pretty cool tastes, but I have to say, I still haven’t heard anything from Animal Collective that I’ve liked.

So, did you do anything fun Saturday night? I went to see Murder City Devils with a bunch of my friends. It was one of those awesome, life-affirming moments. I hadn’t seen them since 1999 when I saw them at the Breakroom in Seattle right before I moved to Buffalo.

Today, my brother’s band is playing a show that Andy Rourke from the Smiths is DJing. I’m pretty excited.

I don’t know how to end this letter,