Hi (a letter from a woman on OK Cupid that I never responded to)

Dear readers, I hope you are doing well this night.  I’m in the middle of another big shakeup in my life, but not one of my own choosing (for the most part).  The good news about all of this forced upheaval, is that I will be able to quit my awful job that has been killing me physically and crushing my soul, and transition into a new job with more flexible hours and a corporate structure to ensure that I don’t get treated like a piece of charnel by a lunatic without any sense.  Hopefully, I can manage to nail the bastard for breach of contract once I leave.  Granted, it means holing up at my parents’ house once more, but this time to save money and be ready for the next big move without teetering on the edge of a broken wallet.

But enough about that malarkey.  The best news about having a more flexible job means that I should have more time to finish my book.  I know I’ve been talking about this book forever (believe me, I feel like I’ve been writing it forever – 9 1/2 years to date), but I’ve finally started editing it for real.  Which means it should only take me another 5 years to complete.  I’m also looking forward to being able to afford to eat sushi again.

This week’s post is yet another twist on the formula.  This time, I’m the asshole.  I didn’t reply to this letter.  I can’t tell you why because this profile no longer exists, but it’s probably because I didn’t find her attractive.  Or didn’t understand why she has “taco” in her screen name, as do about a thousand other women on this site.  I still don’t get it.  Kind of like the mexican place in Austin called Wahoo’s Fish Tacos, since, well, “wahoo” and “fish taco” are synonyms.

I will say that I enjoyed Lisa’s one-liner about my head, which refers to the photo below, which was captioned with something along the lines of “My friend Josh took this photo and the angle makes me resemble one of those giant head Easter Island statues.”

Check out how much my head looks like an Easter Island statue here!

 

But like I’ve said before, I’m probably just a horrible person, so I didn’t write this girl back because I probably found her unattractive.  Feel free to comment on this post and tell me how I deserve all the horrible things that have happened to me because karma isn’t just the name of your favorite stripper.

Hi
Message from Agnusmycat_taco
Apr 25, 2008 – 5:28pm

Don’t worry, your head only vaguely looks like an Eastern Island statue. Lisa

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4 responses to “Hi (a letter from a woman on OK Cupid that I never responded to)

  1. OkCupid adds ‘taco’ to someone’s username if the one they try is already taken.

    Eg. Enter desired user name: Lauren

    *Sorry that username is already taken, how bout these:

    Lauren_taco
    Lauren33
    Lauren167

    Naturally people think itsfunny and choose the one with ‘taco’ in it.

    • Thanks for explaining this. I was quite confounded. I thought there was just a lot of taco enthusiasts out there (and why wouldn’t you be a fan of tacos), although there is another definition of “taco” that actually should make women think twice about appending it to their moniker. If you don’t believe me, check out http://www.iheartnsfw.com and search the tags for it.

  2. Your head isn’t big, your hands are huge tho.
    Taco is not uncommon on that site. It’s like, if your username of choice is taken, they add taco and the person just goes with it because they’re morons.
    Taco is code word, for “moron” on okcupid.

    But, you do resemble Bud Bundy.

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