don delillo

Good evening, gentle readers (or good afternoon rough readers – whichever is applicable, just make sure it sounds like Alfred Hitchcock saying it).  I will be presenting you with another one of those weird mystery messages that you used to be able to send out to a random person with whom some computer says you have things in common with.  For some reason, it seems like none of the women who messaged me using this feature ever messaged me back.  So basically, this is another installment of “Responses To OK Cupid Letters That Never Got Responses” for your perusal and hopefully, your reading pleasure.

I am going to also take this opportunity to thank someone who isn’t featured anywhere in this blog (but has one of her own) for some constructive criticism.  It was really funny, because she started with “hey…can I talk to you about something? and I thought for sure it was something bad.  I suppose it shows where my head is at that I replied “i guess so. did i do something wrong?”  Once she said “No. Not at all” I said “then talk away.”  Here is what she had to say:

“well…it’s weird to say
but i will
because I give a shit about you.
I’ve been keeping up with your blog
and I enjoy reading it
but I think I may know what you’re doing wrong in your letters
is that weird to talk about? If so, just tell me”

And then I was all “not weird at all.  i was scared for a second.”  She said “Oh shit, sorry.”  And then I told her “my friend Christine says a lot of them aren’t really open-ended.  like she can’t tell if i’m trying to start a conversation or just spouting random nonsense.”

“well…I wouldn’t say it exactly like that.
but yeah…maybe ask the girl something where she can jump in
girls read those letters and they’re like: ‘Okay. What does he want to know about ME? So he’s telling me stuff but what am I supposed to say?'”

And of course, all I could say was “right.  There are several like that.”

“And I know you’re trying to get your stuff out there because you’re a passionate person
but girls like to be…like…fawned over a little
and I know it’s a little lame doling out advice as my longest relationship was 10 months and that was like 10 years ago…you’re not mad at me are you?”

“Why would I be made at you?  you had helpful hints and you shared them.  ;p HOW DARE YOU!?  I thought you were going to tell me that the introductions were a little too personal/too dark lately.”

And then the conversation shifted into other personal things we won’t get into here.  But I think it’s funny whenever someone picks up on that.   On the bright side, most of these letters that don’t really leave an opening for a reply are 2-3 years old.  On the downside, I don’t think my letters have changed all that much since then.  Oh well.  Here is a reply that didn’t get a reply.  I’m trying to learn how to start a conversation.  At my advanced age, it’s hard sometimes to learn new skills.  Oddly enough, the letter this mystery woman sent was direct and to the point.  Something my letters seldom ever are.

don delillo
Apr 17, 2010 – 8:19am
Message from FunnyGirl_BX
Sorry, FunnyGirl_BX no longer has an account.

So an algorithm I don’t understand tells me that we are compatible and both enjoy Don DeLillo. White Noise is my favorite. Yours?


Apr 18, 2010 – 9:00pm

Hi Nicole!

I don’t understand their algorithms either, because it seems that many women who you would think would match me better (especially friends from the real world) don’t, and then people I have seemingly nothing in common with rate highly. I rate especially high with latino and bbw women for some reason (only half-kidding).

My favorite DeLillo is Underworld, which was also the first one I read of his, after picking up the first thing I found after reading an interview with Lee Ranaldo of Sonic Youth that he loved Don DeLillo, and especially White Noise. The only book of his I haven’t gotten through so far is Libra. I want to re-read White Noise to figure out why so many of my friends hate it with such passion.

you also seem to like Trivial Pursuit and cooking. I am definitely on board with that! I wish I got to play TP more. and I don’t get to participate in as many pub quizzes as i would like.

Well, I hope you had a fun weekend!

One response to “don delillo

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