I have a joke about a hypothetical tattoo…

This one is actually some solid letter-writing IMHO, but I guess just not enough to interest a lady who seems to be hunting younger men, and guessing from the “ironic” use of duckface, she wants to slum it with some “Jersey Shore” cast member wannabees.  Or maybe, if I were to give her the benefit of the doubt, she just doesn’t want to deal with another hapless writer in her life.  After all, that I can understand.  If I had to deal with people like me all day, the last person I’d want to be involved with would be another one.

And then things get meta!  I may have blown it by revealing that I am actually doing a blog about these inane letters.  Or did I?  Maybe she is trying to ride my coattails by hoping I would link to her profile in my post about the letter I sent to her that she never replied to.  If this is indeed the case, she got her wish.  Damn, I hate when I play right into some scheming conniver’s plans!  Nevertheless, I dare say I gave it the old college try, I even led with a subject line that refers to her answer for “The Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit” and then buried said lead at the end of the message.  Or maybe she’s just not a Bob Newhart fan.  And that would be the real shame here, were it true.  Not that I would know, since I never heard from her.  Of course, I would like to point out that the reason I am probably still single is because I’ve never met a woman who gets the joke.

I have a joke about a hypothetical tattoo…

Sent to queenchoptifa
Feb 26, 2010 – 4:01am
17% Enemy  83% Friend  84% Match


Let me say right off the bat that I felt compelled to write you immediately. Oftentimes, especially at 4am, I will browse and take mental notes that I soon forget, but I rarely write emails after 3am. It starts to get a little dicey, usually. I tend to try and overthink things and be ultra clever or witty. No such luck for you this time, I’m afraid.

Anyhow, from your profile you seem like someone I would click with from the moment you see me and back slowly out of the bar.

I’m curious about your writing, as I’m currently still working on my first novel, which nobody is paying me for yet (I’m trying to have three solid chapters ready before I try to solicit anything – the writing is there, but it’s still not organized). I’m working on a blog while I procrastinate on the novel. A blog about letters I’ve sent to girls on ok cupid that haven’t gotten responses. I figured that if my friend Joe can get a deal to write the “Look At This Fucking Hipster” book, then why not?

But back to the matter at hand, I have been joking for years now that if I were to get a tattoo it would be on my back in giant letters and say “To Be Or Not To Be…That Is The Gazorninplat!” and that the first woman to get the reference would be The One.

I’m funnier than this in person, I assure you.

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