Dearest ladies and gentlemen,

In the interest of getting enough sleep for work tomorrow and full of desire to show, not tell, I’m going to keep the introduction paragraphs brief this week.  I don’t know if this means I have run out of things to say, or if I merely don’t feel like making fun of myself tonight, but I suppose we shall see when I post again.  In the meantime, I’ll just set this one up and be on my merry way to slumber.

There’s no surprise here as to why I didn’t get a response.  As my message indicates, this young lady was looking for a gainfully employed man, while I was in the midst of being painfully unemployed.  Apparently, I was unable to make up for it with my awesome lobster claw lamp ownage, dead grandfathers and admitting to feeling human.  I guess she was looking for a cyborg that doesn’t dole out compliments in the very first line of an email to a stranger.

and say flat out that you are probably the most adorable woman on here that I’ve seen.

I know that you’re looking for someone who has a job, but the economy and my former employer didn’t seem to want me to have one. So, I’m looking for a job, and writing my book while I look. I also started playing music with a friend and am trying to get back into DJing. I’m resuming my radio show (a college station out in Long Island) after a 2 1/2 year hiatus, so that’s exciting. After a bit of a break from things, I’m finally starting to feel human again.

Also, I can cook. I just made a really good roasted potato and fennel dish that I’m excited about. I am new to fennel and I am totally psyched on it.

So yeah, I know you’re busy with school and stuff and may not have time for a bum like me, but you should also know that I have a lamp made out of a giant lobster claw that I inherited from my Grandpa, that belonged to my Great-grandfather. I am going to rewire it because last time I plugged it in, it kind of almost started a fire. Luckily, I am handy like that.

I don’t know who I’m trying to convince of my worth here. Oh well, here goes nothing.

take care,