Okay, so I remember exactly what this lady looked like, if I remember correctly.*  Pretty sure she was the one with a photo of her on the hood of a vintage auto, with cat glasses frames, a pink cardigan and her hair pinned back.  Kind of a 50’s pin-up librarian look going on.  I was definitely into that.  If I recall correctly, she was an 83% match.  I don’t remember the friends vs enemies percentages, but I’m thinking something like 89% friend, 11% enemy.  As I read this checklist (letter doesn’t really do the term “letter” justice), I feel as though there was no personality conveyed at all.  So, yeah, I would give myself a D (for Disappointing) on this message.  She was definitely within reason for not responding.  Also, I think she may have been about 5’7″ or so with a penchant for heels, and even though I can be a heel myself, I am maybe 5’8″ on a good day.

Nevertheless, it can’t really hurt to just respond to a guy who isn’t asking you to crush bugs in socks, or whatever it is those pervs with no shirts on in their photos are into…Nevertheless, the way things are going in my life right now, I feel like changing my entire profile so that it basically says “I have no job, no money and nothing to offer.  If you are looking to fix a broken man, drop me a line.”  I think I might actually do better with that than the novel on my profile now, and it would definitely get more responses than any of these letters.  Especially since I’m not really in a position right now to really care about someone else, because I am trying to get my own shit back together.  I’m not really letting you guys take a look behind the curtain, but just kind of putting the perspective onto it.

Or maybe she just wanted a science writer who wears fedoras.  If so, then I could never please her.  Well, I promised myself that I wouldn’t let myself go eat this until I posted a blog tonight.  Mission accomplished!

I like a lady
Sent to hvnly3c
Jan. 14, 2009 – 1:40am
% Enemy % Friend % Match

with red hair and a firm handshake….

wearing socks is also a plus.

i’m drinking a Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout as I write this…

but yeah, I am this guy:
beard – check
You like to read – currently reading “The Wordy Shipmates”
You enjoy art, writing and/or science (I write)
You like “Six Feet Under” – check
You like to drink GOOD beer – check and mate
You like hats (but yet I don’t have a hat face)
You are single – check

hope you’re enjoying a good beer right now as well…

* [Editor’s note:  I did not remember correctly, as it appears I was mistaken in my attribution of a particular look to the lady emailed in this post.  The woman I described is still on okcupid, and that letter will be featured soon.  I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.]