In all the messages I’ve sent to the women of Okcupid, this one might just have my favorite sentence (perhaps even my favorite sentence that I’ve written EVER), especially the way it sounds when I read it in my head. I wish I had ended this letter with that sentence. Instead, I just spewed a rant based on what I assume to be something in her profile, but with a focus on my own aesthetic hangups.
And then I go on to brag in the third paragraph, at which point, no amount of “oh hey, cute hat”s can salvage a response from the woman who was probably once interested by the promising first paragraph only to be borderline disgusted by the virtual “nyah nyah nyah” of the whiny guy bragging about how he saw Tom Waits. What a winner!
I’d be surprised if she didn’t delete her profile to make a new one with the screen name “ArtsyQuirklicious4U” just so I wouldn’t click on her profile. If that is the case, then well played ArtsyQuirklicious4U. Well played.
most of what you say is dead-on
Sent to lizziean
Jan. 12, 2009 – 11:45pm
% Enemy % Friend % Match (I think she was an 86% match)
I was reading your profile thoroughly before just sending off some half-assed message about how beautiful you are, etc…figuring you probably get a lot of that. And I have to say, your forthrightness is refreshing. But mostly, I’m just looking for a girl to refinish my furniture.
Everyone on this site totally does that “I’m quirky, laid back and original” thing and they can’t all be, and laid back really gets my goat for some reason. Also, I have disqualified many people based on screen names. Pretty much anyone with “girl,” “artsy,” “licious” or numerals substituted for words are out. One day I saw “Arstygirlicious” and almost fell out of my chair laughing. Maybe I am too picky, but I don’t think so.
Oh and for the record, Tom Waits, Beacon Theater 1999 was the best show I’ve ever seen. I still have the confetti he threw as he made his entrance and walked down the aisle I was closest to…
BTW, that hat is really cute.