This is certainly not the fifth time I’ve mentioned food in an email (nor anywhere near the last), but considering that it was a big part of this young lady’s profile, I assumed it was a good icebreaker. In fact, this may have been the least weird email i’ve ever written to a stranger.
Also, I was upfront about my lack of a static identity – so where are my points for honesty? Next time I’ll just email “Hi, I’m a Jew who likes food and lives in New York, too. I think our mothers would approve. You can tell her my Hebrew name is Yakov Avraham. Jewish moms eat that shit up like I eat matzoh ball soup. Much like the soup my mom just made…” That would work. Ha ha ha.
I love coming up with these little introductions off the top of my head so you folks can see just how much my mind works like a hamster on a squeaky wheel with alcohol in the water bottle. Speaking of alcohol, I think it’s time to go to my friend’s beverage distributor store and trade in some empties for more beer. And maybe stop somewhere for some whiskey.
So now I present to you a letter to someone who still has an active account (ie, the link works today!)…
i like food and you like food…
Sent to cbw7830
12% Enemy 88% Friend 85% Match
Oct. 12, 2008 – 3:56am
and apparently, we’re both good at finding good food. so maybe we should meet up for drinks and discuss food?
I’m sure finding delicious things to eat isn’t all we have in common. There’s the not-so-serious Judaism, too…
Oh and by the way, I’m Jon (or J. I’m also working on getting people to call me Jake, because Jon is kinda done, and I’ve never felt like one).
Nice to almost meet you.
Sorry that this was the best I could come up with at 4am.
[If I had had this handy “Icebreakers” tool at the time of writing this letter, I could have known that we should be doing the Humpty hump because “I think you both like paul auster.” That’s what I did wrong! I should have mentioned Paul Auster. Had I even read any Paul Auster as of 14 months ago? I think I deserve another shot!]