Hello, again, Gentile readers (and Happy “Honika Electronica” to my fellow Hooknoses).  It’s purely coincidental that this is the second entry in a row with the word “theory” in the title.  I’ve been going in chronological order, so maybe since May is the merry month that makes it the theory month of June.  Yes, that was a terrible joke.

Anyways, before I go out and get drunk at my favorite watering hole, instead of seeing the latest Lars Von Trier film, the live Rifftrax dealy, or even one of my best friends’ bands playing, I’m going to present to you a letter I wrote to a lady in Philadelphia, who did at least check out my profile before not responding.

This is my Wednesday night gift to you.  And when better than Hump Day to mention pants? I just wish I could remember what this pants theory was all about.

intrigued by “Pants Theory”
Sent to aurora1137
12% Enemy 82% Friend 85% Match
Jun. 14, 2008 – 5:51pm

Hi there,

I took a gander at your profile because the homescreen had your journal thingy on display and even though you live 75 miles away, I didn’t see the harm. Of course, the harm might be that you seem really intelligent, funny and cute and not living next door. Then again, knowing me, if you did indeed live next door, I probably would never say even “hi” because I’m shy to the point of being socially retarded. But now with the price of gas, I think we’d all be better of trying to get with our neighbors instead of meeting up with strange people from other places. Okay, now I don’t even know what I’m talking about. But I used the word gander and that counts for something, right?

My Favorite Martian is on tv right now and a burlesque dancer just said “I like shy men. They’re so reticent.” I think that line might be more outlandish than Ray Walston being a Martian.

I should probably be typing out some of the random crap I’ve got in one of my notebooks…especially since I haven’t posted a blog in a while and I’ve got a ton of weird things to post. And only some of it has to do with riding the subway in new york.

ttfn,